Wisdom arises from life-knowledge and self-knowledge, and the more therapists possess, the more they can guide clients through the labyrinths of the psyche and the human experience.
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Therapist and Client - Therapy Session
A therapist provides support to a client during a therapy session
If you're shopping around for a psychotherapist, you may wonder how to tell a winner from one that is so-so or even no-no.
The popular myth is that academic training makes a competent practitioner. Put anybody into a graduate program or residency in psychology, clinical social work or psychiatry and add a few years of on-the-job experience and out comes an emotional healer.
If head-shrinking were merely a technical application, like working on cars, this would be just dandy. And some mental health types view it as such, acting as if the brain is an engine needing a tune-up. I call these folks "grease monkeys of the mind."
Their appeal is obvious. A little medication here, a touch of behavior modification there, and a dab of new life skills and you'll be running like new . . . maybe. Are there instances when all one needs from a therapist is some practical advice or medication? Sure, in which case, technical skills and qualifications could be all that is required.
Facing Challenges
However, when it comes to emotional healing and facing existential challenges, just tinkering with synapses, brain chemistry and behavior rarely proves sufficient.
Discriminating users of mental health services ask psychotherapists about their credentials, experience and training, as they should. However, they rarely inquire about the most essential question of all: "How wise is this person?"
Like everyone, shrinks can harbor unfinished emotional business, and when we work with other people's wounds and challenges, we can run up against our own. For instance, when I address a client's fear of death, the degree to which I am at peace, or not, with my own mortality makes a difference. If I have come to terms with my fear, then I can help others with their own, but otherwise my capacity to benefit them in this regard is limited, at best.
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Wisdom arises from a combination of life-knowledge and self-knowledge, and the more a therapist possesses, the more they can guide clients through the labyrinths of the psyche and the human experience itself. So, with lots of technical knowing but little wisdom, all one can offer a client is textbook advice, the kind untested in the arena of day-to-day existence. And, too often, that's not offering much.
Theoretical Knowledge?
Some of my colleagues argue that, regardless of their degree of wisdom, a therapist can still help a client provided they possess sufficient theoretical knowledge and technical mastery. So, we find therapists without children advising clients about how to be parents, or chronically depressed shrinks treating patients who are chronically depressed, and wet-behind-the-ears counselors pontificating to 50-year-olds about how to navigate a mid-life crisis.
Now, among therapists, wisdom is not always a function of age and experiential mileage. I've known young ones who are, as we say, "old souls" with a surprising degree of wisdom, as well as old ones who, emotionally, are still struggling to get out of elementary school.
As for me, I'll take a wise therapist to a highly educated one any day. So, if you're looking for a mental health practitioner, consider asking about wisdom. Questions like:
* "What personal experiences have you had that relate to my problem?"
"What do you find emotionally challenging?" "How comfortable are you working with the issue I want to address?" "If you were in my shoes, what attributes would you be seeking in a therapist?" "Have you been a psychotherapy client yourself?"
When asked, if a therapist becomes defensive or hides behind a mask of haughty professionalism, consider going elsewhere.
My responsibility to my clients goes beyond technical competence, ethical behavior and empathy, not that those don't matter. They do, a lot. However, it also involves being conscious of my own shortcomings, admitting when I lack wisdom and continually working to make myself a more finished soul.
When choosing a therapist, take care not to confuse knowledge with wisdom.
For more, visit philipchard.com.