Well, would you look at that: Pistol Packin' Pete Hegseth finally got his boom-boom on.
One question: Who is going to tell the Secretary of Defense that he sent the U.S. Navy and its booming bombs to the wrong ocean? The goal was stopping fentanyl-laced cocaine. Only about five percent of cocaine is moved through Venezuela to the Atlantic. Two of South America's three biggest cocaine producing nations -- Colombia and Peru -- share Pacific shorelines.
Nothing that a Door Dash driver looking at Google maps couldn't have helped the Situation Room with; nothing that a presidential Sharpie can't fix for the cameras.
Donald Trump has been jonesing to oust Venezuelan President Nicholas Maduro since 2017, and if time and fate have conspired to leave him with a Fox News TV personality to run that war, well, you go to war with the army you have, not the Signal-savvy generals you kicked to the curb.
But Trump and Maduro should not be fighting! They have much in common! They should be bonding over beers! Make no mistake. The cartel-friendly Maduro is a full-fledged dictator. Trump is no such thing -- yet. He is still in the Terrible Twos phase of authoritarian wannabes.
Still: Venezuelan state media once said Maduro fended off more than 13 million psyops. Trump almost went on "60 Minutes." Maduro seized control of news media. Trump said boo to CBS. Trump insists he lost the 2020 election because it was rife with fraud. Maduro believes he couldn't have won the 2019 election without it. Maduro created the Vice Ministry of Supreme Happiness to coordinate social programs. Trump created the One Big Beautiful Bill to wipe them out. Maduro blames new U.S. tariffs for his country's rapidly deteriorating economy. Trump blames the Federal Reserve for new U.S. tariffs that are rapidly escalating the cost of a Christmas Barbie.
In his first 15 months in office, Maduro spread dozens and dozens and dozens of conspiracy theories. Well, that's a big ole' America First right in his eye: Trump didn't wait 15 weeks before putting a picture of Fort Knox gold on milk cartons. It's missing. Likewise with certain FBI files about a certain child trafficker, although on the off chance that they are not buried under the newly cemented Rose Garden, they are the dastardly work of fired FBI Director James Comey. Or Obama. Or Hillary. Or Biden aides wielding an autopen.
Maduro ranted about conspiracy theories to distract Venezuelans from real problems. We may be in the wrong ocean to distract us from knowing that new unemployment claims shot up in the last week in August. Then again, who knows if the Bureau of Labor Statistics is still allowed to add and subtract: Trump's pick to head BLS, E.J. Antoni, was chief economist for The Heritage Foundation, whose slogan ought to be "We Wrote Project 2025, You Can Thank Us Later."
Under Maduro, pro-government police and military marched into cities to stop crime. Under Trump, the White House led the Texas National Guard straight to the front door of Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker. In Venezuela's police raids, 9,000 people died. In Chicago, businesses, law enforcement, the faith community and elected officials are doing what the City of Big Shoulders was built to do: rolling up their sleeves and getting ready.
And really, that's the biggest difference between Maduro's regime and Trump's: It's us.