If you've remained even tangentially aware of the many ups and downs of the MGK/Megan Fox romance over the last few years, odds are you've probably heard the term "twin flame." And while it may sound pretty much interchangeable with the concept of a soulmate in terms of the "two lovers spiritually destined for each other" of it all, they're actually quite different. For one thing, a twin flame connection is often more intense (and more volatile) than a soulmate.
"A twin flame is someone who plays a pivotal role in your life and who transforms you intensely for the better and redirects you on your path," says astrologer Kyle Thomas. "Often, these relationships are passionate, extremely intense, and can have a pattern of coming in and out of your life. Twin flame connections are not easy. They can be heartbreaking, tumultuous, and chaotic."
If that sounds like a lot, then...yeah! It kind of is! That said, twin flame connections aren't all bad, nor are they necessarily doomed -- though Thomas notes it is extremely rare for a twin flame relationship to last a lifetime. No matter how short-lived or chaotic they may be, a twin flame plays an important role in your life. They're meant to be a learning experience, one that significantly alters your life and redirects you on your path forward.
Whether you think you've found your twin flame or are still looking, here's everything to know about this unique karmic connection, from signs you've met yours to the stages the twin flame roller coaster ride will take you through.
What Is a Twin Flame Connection?
The general theory re: twin flames is that they are two people cut from the same cloth, born of the same spark, etc. Some spiritual scholars suggest that twin flames share the same soul split into two bodies (hence the confusion with soulmates). Call it what you want, but it basically boils down to the classic Cathy/Heathcliff, "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."
"Twin flame connections can sometimes be likened to love at first sight, but on a deep, soul level," says Thomas. "These relationships function as a mirror to us and are often a soul that is cut from the same 'fabric' as we are."
As noted above, these relationships tend to be tumultuous and rarely result in a life-long union -- but that's not really the point. These connections are less about finding your happily ever after than they are about learning important lessons that redirect your life path.
"People who experience a twin flame relationship often share an intense psychic connection and are extremely sensitive to one another's energies -- even if they are not physically present," says Thomas. "Twin flames help us to work through profound emotional material by bringing transformative experiences into our lives."
BTW, while we often associate twin flames with passionate love affairs, that's not always the case. "It's important to note that a twin flame or soulmate doesn't automatically denote a romantic connection," says astrologer Lisa Stardust.
Also, not everyone has a twin flame (sorry). According to Thomas, having a twin flame is quite rare, and meeting them in this lifetime is even more so.
Twin Flame vs. Soulmate
Okay so twin flames are not the same as soulmates. But what exactly is the difference?
"Soulmates enter our lives often to support us and join us upon our journeys, whereas twin flames are incarnated to transform our lives radically -- often by helping us look within the mirror to better understand our mission and ourselves in this lifetime," says Thomas.
Twin flame connections are also usually more intense than soulmate relationships, often in a "super-charged and uncomfortable way," Thomas adds.
You can also have multiple soulmates (contrary to popular belief), while twin flames are generally believed to only exist in pairs.
Twin Flame Stages
When it comes to the stages of finding your twin flame, experts disagree on how many there are, but these five to seven are common.
1. Preparing to Meet Your Twin Flame
Do you have a strange sensation that someone is waiting for you or that something big is around the corner? This is stage one, says Chris Pleines, founder of DatingScout.com. This is also when you'd feel a yearning that something (or someone) is about to turn your world upside down, explains Mary J. Gibson, relationship expert at DatingXP.
2. The Awakening: Meeting Your Twin Flame
Now, it's totally possible you've already met your twin flame, explains Pleines, but this is the stage when you'd start to feel as though you're really falling for this person. "Falling for them would be the easiest thing to do, but be careful," explains Pleines. "This might not last long because these kinds of relationship are prone to inner turmoil and separation."
Gibson also refers to this period as the "awakening" -- when your relationship is filled with coincidences and everything about you two may feel like destiny. You're going OTT with how compatible you two are.
Welp, the honeymoon period is OVER. Here is when things start to get a little tricky. Since your twin flame is a mirror of yourself, this is when you might start to find some traits of your twin flame to be kinda irksome. Maybe you don't like that they're super emotionally withholding without realizing that you, yourself, are like that sometimes. Or perhaps they call out your behavior first. Either way, "you or your partner will be the one discovering unlikable traits, which will trigger the feeling of anxiety, which might rock the relationship," Pleines explains.
4. The Crisis
In any relationship, problems are unavoidable. This stage is meant to stress-test how you and your twin flame handle yourselves in a tough situation. This phase can be "a catalyst for a deeper bond," says Gibson. Pleines adds that "the conflicts that arise during this stage and how you solve them will ensure how long your relationship will last."
5. The Chase
This is where separation occurs, although it might not be a permanent separation -- twin-flame relationships are notorious for being on and off. This stage is inevitable and will arise no matter how you worked through the previous stage, says Gibson. One of the twin flames will keep distancing themselves, which will result in a push-and-pull dynamic that eventually must come to an end, aka a separation. "One cannot keep chasing and the other can't keep running forever," adds Gibson.
6. Relenting/The Surrender
Say goodbye to your ego, because you've got some growing to do. This time apart from your twin flame is when you're supposed to grow your soul and reflect upon your time spent together, says Pleines. "The need to control has to be given up," explains Gibson. "Surrendering doesn't mean giving up on the connection but accepting that destiny can't be escaped."
It's not necessarily goodbye forever though. Pleines says that if you do eventually come across your twin flame again, the time you spent reflecting during this phase will help you improve as a person. This stage should be seen as a positive, allowing you and your twin flame to be released from the past and encouraging you both to live more consciously in the moment.
7. The Reunion
While everyone isn't even lucky enough to come across their twin flame in this lifetime, you're even luckier if you're able to reunite with your twin flame after having gone through the journey above, explains Pleines. "If you focus your energies toward improving yourself in order to meet your twin flame halfway, then it's most likely that you'll be able to reconnect. Once you do, you'll have a union of mind, body, and soul -- a perfect trifecta some can't even begin to imagine."
This stage means balance is restored, says Gibson. You'll take the lessons from the tough times to better understand each other and your love. This stage is all about acceptance, peace, and reciprocal understanding. If you're given the chance to reunite with your twin flame, you better never let 'em go again.
Signs You've Met Your Twin Flame
If you've found your twin flame, you may notice certain signs and feelings, including feeling like you've known each other for a long time, are experiencing things at the same time, understand each other on a deep level, or have a psychic connection, says Stardust. Read on for more twin flame signs to keep an eye out for.
1. While a soul mate has strictly romantic connotations, a twin flame doesn't necessarily have to be romantic.
Yes, romance is preferable when it comes to finding your twin flame. Falling in love with someone who totally *gets* you sounds pretty nice, right? However, romance doesn't necessarily have to be the be-all and end-all for twin flames, explains Pat58, a relationship expert and psychic adviser. Think of a soul mate as someone who would fight to the death for you. A twin flame is more about a connection you share with the person who's largely built on commonalities from your past.
2. A twin flame's purpose is to help you teach each other and grow.
"In spiritual teaching, twin flames are two halves of one soul that have united to teach each other profound lessons," explains Cara Kovacs, NYC-based relationship expert. Your twin flame helps you become the person you were meant to be, and you do the same for them.
3. A twin flame relationship might be very on and off...
Twin flame relationships do not necessarily last a lifetime, explains Channa Bromley, relationship and dating coach. "Once the lessons have been learned, we may or may not stay in the relationship. We do become whole because of the growth and healing that the twin flame relationship provides."
4. ...and the relationship might be super tense and emotional.
Whereas soul mates ~complete each other~, twin flames are more about pushing each other to grow, adds Kovacs. This totally tracks with the idea that with any growth, there's a certain degree of tension to be expected. Ultimately, though, through any conflict, twin flame relationships are there to help each person heal.
5. You'll be hyper-aware of the other person's flaws.
After an initial honeymoon period, "you or your partner will be the one discovering unlikable traits, which will trigger the feeling of anxiety, which might rock the relationship," Pleines explains.
6. But you'll feel like you've known this person your whole life.
"They feel familiar in a way that you can't quite explain, but you feel instantly very comfortable with them," says Kovacs. As you get to know each other, you might come across details in your upbringing that you have in common, such as both being adopted or you might have even been at a lot of the same events at the same time without ever meeting. Kovacs adds that the feeling of meeting your twin flame can be described as intense and familiar at the same time.
7. Your twin flame will feel like "home" for you.
Your twin flame will completely get and accept you. You'll often share similar interests, thoughts, strengths, and weaknesses, says Paulette Sherman, PhD, a psychologist and dating expert.
8. You'll act as mirrors for each other.
All this similarity is so you and your twin flame will eventually reflect each other in a way that heals deeply held wounds from childhood or even past lives, according to Kovacs. This mirror-like quality is also responsible for some of the drama you will likely encounter with your twin flame. "Everything that we have spent our lives running from or denying is suddenly in front of us," says Pat.
9. You won't necessarily stay together forever.
Sorry to break it to you, but even if you find your twin flame, you might break up. In fact, it's pretty likely. "Very few twin flame connections last for a lifetime," says Thomas. "When a twin flame relationship finally reaches its closure, it is vitally important to move forward and move on, rather than dwelling on the missed connection. They are instead preparing you for your destiny and more fulfilling relationships in the future."
10. Not everyone finds their twin flame, but if you do, it has the potential to be a totally life-changing kind of love.
Yep, not everyone gets reunited with their twin flame through their life, according to Pat. But while twin-flame connection may not (read: probably won't) last forever, "their effects are everlasting," says Thomas.
11. Your twin flame journey can last many lifetimes.
For those who believe in reincarnation, a twin flame journey doesn't last for one lifetime, but for many. If you and your twin flame aren't united in this lifetime, you may form a twin flame union in another lifetime.